BY CLIFF SMELLEY
Telegraph Staff Writer
Kenneth Grider has attended St. Mark’s Episcopal Church of Starke for approximately eight decades, but his example isn’t one just of faith to a particular church.
Kenneth, who, at 93, is the oldest current member of St. Mark’s, has a wife, Jackie, two daughters, Cathy and Nancy. His family, though, is so much more than them and other relatives. Cathy said Denmark Furniture, where her father worked for 43 years, was a part of that family. So, too, is St. Mark’s.
“He’s been faithful to his family,” Cathy said. “Since the church was part of his family, it was just a matter of faith to family.”
Kenneth is one of four children born to Rufus and Nancy Grider. His sister, Marjorie Douville and brother Buddy are deceased, but his brother Lloyd is still alive at the age of 89.
The moved to Starke in the late 1930s, living on Walnut Street and later on Westmoreland Street. Kenneth’s daughter Nancy said she was told the house was so close to the railroad tracks that the toilet would rattle when a train went by.
At a young age, Kenneth proved to be an entrepreneur, taking advantage of Starke’s temporary status as a boom town, which was created by the opening of Camp Blanding during World War II. Jackie, said, “He had a shoe-shine box his daddy made for him. He would go downtown during Blanding times and shine the soldiers’ shoes.”
“A dime a pair,” Kenneth said.
He also did more than shine shoes. He would “grunt” for worms, splitting a 2×4 piece of wood and placing one piece in the ground and rubbing its top with the other piece. The resulting vibration would bring the worms up out of the ground. Kenneth sold them for fishing bait, charging 10-20 cents per can.
According to “A Home Within the Wilderness,” Sandy Sanders’ history (1880-1980) of St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, Kenneth was one of five children at the church baptized in 1945. He’s also mentioned in the book as being a member of the boys choir.
Kenneth was on the football team at Bradford High School, playing the position of guard. He remembered that his cleats were way too big for him and that the toes of the shoes curled up.
“They were hand-me-downs all the way,” Kenneth said.
He kept those shoes, which proved to be a source of entertainment for his daughter Nancy when she was a child.
“They were high tops, and I thought they were the coolest things as a kid,” she said. “I’d put them on and clonk around in them.”
Kenneth said, “It was all she could do to keep her feet in them.”
The BHS Class of 1949 consisted of Kenneth and 73 other students. At that time, it was the school’s largest graduating class. Kenneth was class president and was voted by students as Best All-Around along with Alma Outlaw. He was part of a symposium during his graduation ceremony. Kenneth and fellow graduates Janet Anderson, Betty Ann Flynn, Lewis Haines II and Carlie Mae Hall spoke on the topic of “Youth Faces Tomorrow.”
Kenneth was presented with the Bausch and Lomb Award for outstanding achievement in the study of science during graduation as well.
He admitted he had no long-range plans, saying that his goal was simply to “get out of high school.”
Kenneth did attend the University of Florida for a semester and eventually enlisted in the Army at the age of 20. He went through basic training at Fort Jackson in Columbia, South Carolina. Jackie said Kenneth told her that anytime he complained about something during basic training, the drill sergeant responded by saying, “Shut up. You volunteered for this. These other suckers were drafted.”
He attained the rank of corporal and was able to leave the Army early — three months shy of his two-year commitment. The circumstances led to a memorable Christmas for the family.
“That was one of the best Christmas presents his mother could’ve had,” Jackie said. “That was her Christmas Eve present. She didn’t know he was coming home. There was a knock at the door. She opened the door, and there he stood.”
When Kenneth returned home, he was picked up at the train station in Jacksonville by Jackie’s cousin James “Potlicker” McRae.
“They were big buddies,” she said.
Jackie remembered how she and Kenneth began dating. Her mother went to Denmark’s to buy a mattress, but was told she’d have to wait until the next day to have it delivered because the store would be closed the afternoon she bought it.
“Well, lo and behold, about 1:30 or 2 that (same) afternoon, here he comes in the furniture truck with the guy who was the regular delivery man,” Jackie said.
She said Kenneth returned to her home the next day with the intent of asking her to see a movie with him. Jackie thought he was there to see her father. In fact, she and her father sat there talking to Kenneth for about 45 minutes before her father went to bed to rest before his shift at DuPont. Kenneth then finally got around to the reason he showed up in the first place, asking Jackie out. With her father asleep and her mother at work, Jackie told him he’d have to wait until she could ask her parents for permission.
They did go on that date. Jackie said her parents knew of Kenneth anyway because of his friendship with Potlicker and knew that he and his family were good people.
When asked if it was love at first sight, Kenneth said, “Close to it. She knew what she liked, and she hung onto me and wouldn’t let me go.”
“Yep,” Jackie said. “I knew a keeper when I saw one.”
They’ve been married for 67 years.
When she thinks of her father, Nancy said she remembers how he was always working in the yard.
“He was known for meticulously keeping the yard up,” she said. “Even back when he was about 90, I think, he was still on his hands and knees pulling weeds.”
Nancy recalled one incident in which her father was working in the yard on a hot day and asked her sister, Cathy, who was 4 or 5 at the time, to get him some iced water. She returned with a glass and asked him where he wanted it. Kenneth told her, which resulted in her pouring down his back.
Kenneth would even spruce up the neighborhood. Jackie said he’d walk 3 miles a day, picking up trash as he went along.
Jackie found a photo recently of her husband water skiing when he was 79 or 80 years old. She said he didn’t learn to ski until he was in his 50s.
So, he liked to stay active, whether it was tending to his yard and garden, walking, water skiing or putting in a day’s work at Denmark’s.
You could say juggling was another activity — not the physical act of juggling but of balancing everything in his life. That included serving in various roles at St. Mark’s, including junior warden, senior warden, treasurer and lay reader. He also sang in the choir.
Cathy said it was impressive how her father could keep so many things going at once. That included his commitment to his family, which he never neglected, no matter how busy he was.
“All things considered, we had a childhood full of abundant activities,” Cathy said.
Jackie was involved at St. Mark’s as well. Beginning in the 1960s, she was the church organist for approximately 20 years. She continued to play off and on in the succeeding years.
In reading Sanders’ history of St. Mark’s, you’ll see the name “Grider” numerous times. The current Narthex was built by Rufus Grider and his older brother, Ernest, in the late 1950s. Kenneth’s mother, Nancy, did altar linens by hand. A listing of senior choir members (1970-80) includes Kenneth, his wife and his children. Cathy and Nancy, as children, are included in 13 of the book’s 70 photos. Cathy, for example, is pictured during her 1963 christening, while Nancy is pictured after finding the golden egg in the 1975 Easter-egg hunt.
Sanders’ book recounts that one of the most ambitious undertakings during Advent was in 1978 with the performance of “The Story of Creation,” a play written by Sanders at the request of Father John Flynn. It was narrated by Kenneth.
The church recognized Kenneth’s faithfulness when it replaced its pews in the early 1970s. The old pews were deconsecrated and sold to church members and others. One pew, though, was presented to Kenneth by the congregation in recognition for his service, especially as a choir member and as a lay reader. This particular pew was constructed by Kenneth’s father to fill space when the organ was moved from one location to another. Rufus crafted the pew to match the others, which were built in the 1880.
A fitting honor for one who’s been such a faithful member, but attending St. Mark’s has never been a question for Kenneth. He’s always been there for his family.
“It was family period that was important,” Cathy said. “The furniture store family, the church family, blood family — it was all family.”
